Thursday, September 25, 2008
It's been almost a week now since the news of the South Carolina Learjet 60 plane crash.. He's still under critical condition. Hmmm.. I don't know what I'll do if he dies. He is after all the reason I sat on that throne for the very first time in secondary two and started hitting stuff with a pair of wood. Please Mr Travis Barker, please don't die...at least not until Plus 44's second album's release, as well as Blink 182's not-gonna-happen reunion.
Oh.. Reunions.. Speaking of which.. It's weird how I'm not really into the mood of going out on the first day of Hari Raya next week.. Hmmm.. I just hate to see my mum getting hurt again.. But then I won't let it happen. The tides will change this time round. One stupid move they make will just spark this flame. Call me an arson; I'm just trying to protect our dignity; just like any other heroes who will save the world.
reminisced;
- 5:43 PM
Friday, September 12, 2008
One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two travelled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated the bird.
But then she thought: "He might want to visit far-off mountains!" And she was afraid , afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird's ability to fly.
And she felt alone.
And she thought: "I'm going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again."
The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.
She looked at the bird everyday. There he was, the object of her passion, and she showed him to her friends, who said: "Now you have everything you could possibly want." However, a strange transformation began to take place. Now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of his life, began to waste away and his feathers to lose their gloss; he rapidly grew ugly; and the woman no longer paid him any attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage.
One day, the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day she had seen him for the first time, flying contently amongst the clouds.
If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not his physical body.
Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at her door. "Why have you come?" she asked Death. "So that you can fly once more with him across the sky," Death replied. "If you loved and admired him even more; hence, you now need me in order to find him again."
Note To Self:
again, like they say:
if you love somebody,
let them go..
what the eyes don't see,
the heart does grieve over.
the further off they are,
the closer to the heart are all those feelings and memories that we try to repress and forget.
if we're in exile,
we want to store away every tiny memory of our roots.
if we're far away from the person we love,
everyone we pass in the streets reminds us of them.
reminisced;
- 2:47 AM
Monday, September 1, 2008
he doesn't seem to believe in me anymore.
i feel so out of place.
i can't deliver.
i can't do a single shit right.
words he said are like shooting arrows with poisoned tips,
i was hit.
deadly sarcasms filled the air,
as they corroded me.
i don't want to fight back.
i damn well can,
but i won't.
but that's where the problem lies.
when i'm all silent, assumptions will be made.
he thinks i'm being defiant,
when all i did was listen and try my best to make a change.
when i speak my mind and try to defend myself
even though i'm in the right,
i might end up raising my voice, and hurting him.
and he'll still think i'm being defiant,
when all i did was trying to explain myself.
so what exactly am i expected do?
i've solemnly promised myself.
i won't ever shed another tear.
not ever.
oh God, harden my heart.
these things they call feelings are tearing me apart.
hmmm.. i really need someone now.
i need her.
she's the only one i trust.
but then...
hmmm.... nevermind.
maybe i don't need anyone.
i don't want to be who i was back then.
even if i could, i won't.
life won't be the same.
i'll prove him wrong.
and i'll be tatooing that onto my soul.
i don't care if it'll leave a deep permanent scar.
people around us live with scars.
the only difference is that i won't be hiding it.
oh, and did i mention?
it starts today.
reminisced;
- 12:01 AM
