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Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Wall... And My Crayons
And the writings on the wall
Will always speak to me,
Even when I refuse to respond to its blatant charity.
It will always pull
And always nag
And I will be stuck,
Afloat in a sea of wafting excuses,
And buoyant lies,
Each vessel-ed into a harbor of inane accord.
Each syllable has a motive,
A shifty eyed,
Perfectly debatable motive,
And someone always blames it on the gravel.
So I smear the wall,
And let the red ran run,
For I have grown weary
With the writings on the wall.
The coughings and chest discomforts still persist. Been over two weeks now. Hmmm.. And I still haven't had the chance to go for check up. Heh.. Kinda scared actually. But I'm definitely sure it's nothing.. Yep.. Shouldn't think too much.. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Hmmm.. Oh well..
So.. The results are out. Yet again, good news and bad news. Let's do the bad news first. Well, I didn't meet my aim for year 2. GPA didn't reach 3.0. I got 2.97 again. I guess music theory oulled me down greatly. Kinda disappointed, but hey, I'm getting good at handling disappointments now. Heh. At least there's the good news. The good news is that I don't have to repeat music theory! Haha.. And I'm definitely seeing my classmates again in year 3. Yay.. Alright, I'll just have to work twice as hard for next year.. That's a promise to myself. And I need support. Way lots and lots of support. Heh.. I've got to make it all up by doing well for POD. So yeah.. A few more weeks till the new semester starts.. Wow I just can't wait.
Monday's going to be the Music Dreamer Cafe show. I really hope we could pull it through. 7 songs, one show. Yep.. We definitely can.
Hmmm.. Purple Paige. New music direction for me. Another reason to play drums again. Enough said. Heee..
Note To Self:
what doesn't kill you
makes you stronger..
..and better at killing
reminisced;
- 11:09 PM
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
The Promise
In space,
The astronauts cannot cry;
There is no gravity,
So the tears can't flow.
So fly me to the moon
And let me hide away my scars,
Numb me all my senses
And put these feelings behind bars.
How far would you go to keep a promise? A promise to that special someone, a promise to the world, or maybe just a simple promise to yourself.. It depends. You could drown the world with your sweat trying hard to keep your word, or you could drown the universe with your tears, with regrets of breaking your promise. Either way, you and the world drown. There's just a lot of sacrifices involved. Yeah.. But at least, upon keeping you word, you drown with triumph. Heh..
Speaking of sacrifices, how far would you go to make someone happy? Well, it's subjective actually.. Climb a coconut tree, cross an ocean filled with billions of jellyfish, hijack a plane, etc. You could even cause a road block in the middle of Shenton Way just to propose to that person. Heh. Crazy things crazy people would do. Hmmm.. But sometimes, maybe recognition for the things you do for that person isn't always necesarry. Right? As long as that person's happy.. It's the thought that counts anyway. Oh well.. Sometimes, it doesn't even matter.. Maybe it won't even be remembered.. But at least, there's the attempt.. Shucks.
Many people walk in a dream. They feel entitled to happiness, and feel anger when it is not waiting for them. But ironically, when what they desire comes upon them before their eyes, they pretend not to see them, and hence, the denial that life is unfair. Hmmm.. What does it take to wake them up from that dream, and make them realize that life is beautiful? I wonder..
Okay, I'm just ill.. and I just can't help thinking about things I shouldn't be thinking about. And thus, this blog entry. Gosh..
Note To Self:
just hold on, zakaria..
reminisced;
- 12:14 AM
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The Bottom Of The Plastic Cup
if i die tonight
would you feel the loss?
tomorrow would you dial
my number by accident
then suddenly... pause?
There's a lot of things in my mind right now, I just don't know where to begin. Hmmm.. And I'm getting weaker. And I don't need any antidote. No one cares anyway.
Note To You:
sometimes i just do what i do.
no one forces me.
i know it's crazy at times.
i even lost better left unsaid's master copy haha..
oh well..
it makes me happy to make someone happy.
i hope you appreciate it all. really.
treasure our friendship.
'cuz if you don't, well..
too bad..
'cuz i'm just gonna keep on doing it
until you finally miss me when i'm gone.
reminisced;
- 1:07 AM
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Cold Couplet
I don't miss the quiet,
But I miss the warmth.
reminisced;
- 11:57 PM
Monday, March 9, 2009
The Plan
Tell me a secret,
Should I stay or should I go?
Alright cool. One thing to strike off my need-list: a pair of monitor headphones. Slick. An audio-technica made. Oh, and I just so love its camo color. The specs are awesome too. Shibby. ;)
I guess I could finally do proper mixing. Heh.. Okay, so first things first: the cover song. I figured I should at least make use of the holidays to prepare for next year's assignment. And it's going to be NUFAN's Solitaire. I've always wanted to play that song. Haha.. But didn't get a chance to. Well I'm done transcribing the drum track. Haha.. Maybe Guitar Pro is useful afterall. Sounds like crap luh, but hey, that's what we all first were before we became anything we are right now. Heh. Well I'll just import the midi track into Logic some time next week and watch as magic takes place. I'll be transcribing the rest of the instruments some time later this week. Yay, work. Awesome great load of work. But it's going to be done out of passion uh, of course. Haha. And I've already got a plan. I target the music to be all ready and roughly mix before April, and then record my friend's vocals before he reports in for NS. Arrgh.. NS.. That taboo word.. :\
Okay. So this week's been all planned. Tomorrow, performance and movie chill out. Wednesday, performance and work after that. Thursday, mom and dad's anniversary. Plan to get them on another honey moon. But one can only plan so much. Haha.. And Friday, Friday Prayers and then head straight to work after that. Weekends are going to be more work. Extra overtime. I target to get at least $600 for March's pay. Save half of it for Mac and Logic, 1/5 of it to family household, and 1/5 of it for transportation and phone credit. The rest, if there's even any, will be for miscellaneous stuff. Yep. Hmmm.. I realize things are most probably going to go according to plan when we write those things down. Now let's just hope they go as planned. Godspeed. Heh.
Oh yeah.. Rumour has it that Rufio's back, and they're recording for their 4th album, The Full Reality! Woots! Haha.. Well, rumours..
reminisced;
- 11:29 PM
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The Closet
Does it matter
If I keep a locked closet
In which old skeletons dwell?
A cabinet so filled with spider webs,
Even the spiders get lost in search of their old trails.
Do you really need to know what lies inside?
I doubt it matters soon after your curiosity subsides.
Will you hate me for what you'll find?
Or will you love me more with a love so blind?
They say what you don't know won't kill.
But when you know you don't know something you should know,
It just kills you the same, doesn't it?
I wonder why they call it closet.
Maybe it's not meant to be opened,
So just close it - and keep it closed.
Maybe mine has the same concept.
Only a little bit inverted and retrograded.
You might say I live in my closet;
I would say I live in an empire I built with my bare hands,
Memories as my foundation.
And I can give you the key to that empire,
Explore and get lost in it if you want to.
But again the question..
Does it matter?
Damn, I think I too much again.. Bleargh.. Hmmm.. I've got to start writing new stuff. I've always wanted to try experimental music, but it's just so mind-boggling. Remember that previous mathcore concept? Haha.. It almost made me lose my mind counting the strange time signatures and applying weird discordances. Hmmm.. Soon. New stuff from Zakk. Yep. But I need ideas. Maybe about how to lose one's mind thinking about how to lose one's mind. Heh.
Speaking of which, The Used new upcoming album's concept is so awesome. It's pretty much about coming to grips with how much you really hate yourself and knowing you can never hate yourself to the full extent, so you're free to hate yourself as much as you want to. Heh. Deep. So yeah, wait for it.
reminisced;
- 12:07 AM
Saturday, March 7, 2009
The Metaphora
I wasn't ten thousand knives
I wasn't a balloon of thought's parade
Instead, I'm just me
With punk rock playing on a cassette player
In my head - Saturday nights were supposed to be space rock
And tonight our colors seem black and white
Like a bad comic book movie
Collided with our eyes - yours are sparkling oh so bright
Though
A hundred and two days
Of the only poetry seen
Being losely written stories,
I've forgotten how to spell out
i-l-o-v-e-y-o-u in metaphors
About the Sun and the Moon and the Stars
And my pen brushing around your hair
As you sleep and I write - in my dreams
And I know I've been caught up
In one too many things that are not you
And I know
I am not a field of drying wheat grass
- Random puddles in the middle
And that if
All the telephone rings were not mine
Or were not yours,
I would still dream of leaving you pocketed love notes
And you would still never open up your heart for me
Will you ever change your mind..?
Well I just got home from work. Shucks. It's been pretty busy there nowadays. And there seems to be a critical shortage of manpower. Hmmmph.. Oh well.. People come and go. Anyway, nice working with you, Vicky. (wonder why she left.. hmmm..) Okay, so maybe I can manage the work load afterall. And new staffs are fast learners too. Yep.
Hmmm.. So I went back with Diyana tonight. I figured since she also lives at Admiralty, why not go home together.. I didn't think much. Haha.. Oh and instead of the usual route home, I took 965 with her. We're going towards the same direction, anyway. So we talked on the bus, about school and stuff. She's 19 too, by the way. Hmmm.. Still, I didn't think much. Just some casual conversation. Nothing more. I don't want to get too close. Let's just maintain the distance, yeah? So yeah.. Diyana's just a colleague luh. She's probably got a dude waiting to pick her up at her bus stop or sumthin. Bleargh.. Haha..
(Shucks, I just don't want to get hooked later. She's quite a sweet person actually. Gosh.. This feels weird uh. I don't want to be digging myself another grave. Dude, I just got myself out from the old grave! Haha.. Nope. Girls mean suicide. For now, that is. Period. Heh.)
Note To Self:
not this time.
reminisced;
- 12:42 AM
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Unexpected
The unknown last supper seasoned with thyme.
The oblivious poem with the unforeseen rhyme.
The suprise of sugar tasting sour,
Living in the unexpected hour.
Watching as minutes fall back and the seconds march forward,
Making the last refrain for the pen that defeats the sword.
And when the stars fall and become man's dust in the wind,
Does the unexpected truely begin.
Yet those stars fell so many years ago.
As we wait for new ones to grow.
So living in a silly world where we hunger for power,
Living in the unexpected hour.
Note To Self:
life is so full of surprises.
so full of it that you get caught off guard.
hmmm.. oh well..
everything happens for a reason.
yeah..
reminisced;
- 11:52 PM
