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Monday, September 1, 2008

The Metamorphosis

Note To Self:
he doesn't seem to believe in me anymore.
i feel so out of place.
i can't deliver.
i can't do a single shit right.

words he said are like shooting arrows with poisoned tips,
i was hit.
deadly sarcasms filled the air,
as they corroded me.

i don't want to fight back.
i damn well can,
but i won't.

but that's where the problem lies.

when i'm all silent, assumptions will be made.
he thinks i'm being defiant,
when all i did was listen and try my best to make a change.

when i speak my mind and try to defend myself
even though i'm in the right,
i might end up raising my voice, and hurting him.
and he'll still think i'm being defiant,
when all i did was trying to explain myself.

so what exactly am i expected do?

i've solemnly promised myself.
i won't ever shed another tear.
not ever.

oh God, harden my heart.
these things they call feelings are tearing me apart.

hmmm.. i really need someone now.
i need her.
she's the only one i trust.
but then...

hmmm.... nevermind.
maybe i don't need anyone.

i don't want to be who i was back then.
even if i could, i won't.

life won't be the same.
i'll prove him wrong.
and i'll be tatooing that onto my soul.
i don't care if it'll leave a deep permanent scar.
people around us live with scars.
the only difference is that i won't be hiding it.

oh, and did i mention?
it starts today.


reminisced;
- 12:01 AM

EL INTROVERTO

el introverto

Zakaria
Officially 19
Demure by nature
Straight, single and not-looking
Music & Audio Tech student at SP
Drums & percussions
Sinister Infants
Melodic punk rock

i am just the way i am. judge me for all you want. it doesn't matter. it didn't matter. it will not matter. be nice. and maybe with a wee bit of a miracle, i might just be whoever you want me to be.

THE SONG FOR YOU

THE WISHLIST

Get above 3.0 for 2nd year's GPA
Get that scholarship
Write a poetry compilation book
Finish writing the 3 songs
Record those 3 songs
That white electric guitar
New Zildjian drumsticks
Sinister Infants reunion
Perform on that homecoming event
Break this inner barrier
Tell her
Read her mind
Write her a goodbye-i'll-go-unless-you-stop-me song


THE WALL




THE HEROES AND HEROINES

Afiq
Ain
Amin
Amir
Angela
Arini
Aziz
Cerlyn
Crystal
Danial
Dayana
Dina
Elmo
Gazali
Imran
Iswan
Jali
Jethro
Joel
Jun Rong
Kak Nisa (cuzzin)
Kamilliya
Lenus
Liyana
Lloyd
Nafeesa
Namira
Naqib
Nisa
Radhiah
Radhiyah
Sakinah
Shafiq
Shakir
Sharina
Suhailah
Syafiqah
Syamil
Syima
Thaqif
Vicky
Wiwik
Zoul
Zubaidah



THE PAST

February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
August 2009


THE CREDITS

Designer GWEND
Brushes MISS M