Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Words Of A Book
note to a friend:
hmm.. thanks dude, for that long reply of yours. really appreciate it.. maybe now i know the truth..
okay.. actually i've figured out that "love without ownership" thing long ago, even before i met her. so i totally understand what you mean.. i can't deny that. it's just that when the old feeling, sumthin i haven't felt for a very long time, creeps in again, i tend to go over the barrier. it's my own fault, for being reckless.
what you said about that friendship thing, yeah, i agree. like i once wrote here in this blog, the flame of friendship lasts forever.
but i just want to set this straight: i'm not avoiding anyone here. please don't misinterpret my actions. true, actions speak louder than words, but sometimes we all have to give those words a chance to explain themselves. i do things for a reason. sometimes i just feel it's pointless to explain my actions. so yeah, you can call me unpredictable. oh and by the way, i have a really bad eye sight problem for your info. that's why i've always preferred sitting in front.
i know i have a lot to explain myself to you both, but i guess things are just better left as they are right now. perhaps my past/recent blog entries might provide you clues. actually if i could, i would tell the whole world what i'm feeling and thinking; just scream it out loud. but i admit i'm a poor talker, so i prefer to write. that's why i can really write a lot in text messages, cards, letters, diaries.. but i'm just not as chatty in person. it's just the way i am. sometimes i even wish i live in a world made of words, so i could explain myself more so people don't judge me easily. that's why i love reading fiction, 'cuz i could feel what the writer is trying to convey. so yeah, never judge a book by its cover..
and lastly, it's true i have other closer friends. but honestly, i hardly open up to anyone. you can ask her that. sometimes i even find it hard to blend in a group of bestfriends. that's sumthin about me that even i myself can't explain. and please, i'm not an anti-social. like a skateboard, i need that kick (or push, whatever you call it) to keep me going, or else i'll end up stalling in the middle of the road.
hmm.. i really appreciate to have friends like you guys. but i really can't force myself to clean up my own closet. it's a metaphor. it's tough. but i've never stop trying. so yeah.. hope these clear any misunderstandings. hit me back when you read these. cheers.
reminisced;
- 6:08 PM
