Monday, January 26, 2009
The Walls Bled Lust
I don't understand French, but if I could,
I would write beautiful songs about horrible things
Because it is said to be the language of love and romance
And if love didn't exist,
There wouldn't be any horrible things.
You must care to cry,
Love something in order to hate something
You must have a heart in order for it to be broken.
Many people walk in a dream.
They feel entitled to happiness
And feel anger when it is not waiting for them.
I know that the world owes me nothing,
Yet has given me a great deal.
It is our own perception we get to bend and mold to our liking -
Once that is accomplished,
The reality we once knew begins to change.
Okay, I'm in a better mood to write. First of all, wishing all of my Chinese friends a prosperous Chinese New Year. Xin nian kuai le, people.. Haha. And woots! I received 2 red packets at work. Sweet.
Anyways.. Hmmm.. 4-part writing in punk rock. Sounds whacked. I mean, there're hardly any Singapore bands doing that.. Maybe they do exist, but to what extent? Oh well.. Let's experiment..
By the way, The Fall of Troy's Phantom of the Horizon is wickedly awesome. Great instrumentations; new inspirations for midi assignment. Heh.
And yeah, music theory should be my main focus now. I've got to get a B for that test at least. I don't want it to spoil my holidays again. So yeah.. All the best, Zakaria..
Note To Self:
distance is just the thing you need, zakaria.
reminisced;
- 10:49 PM
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The Wish
One light, one wish
A wish filled with dreams
We all want to see and have
Out of one wish we get
On the day of our birth.
One spark, moment of silence
Time freezing until the call
Has been made for the glow
Small breaths escape and witness
The spark that glows from our light
One taste of sensation,
The sweetness, and yet how lovely
One wish can be for all
World filled with desires and hopes
Desires for satisfaction
Hopes for fulfillment
One wish, on a special day
Remembering birth, grow
And the changes that come from growth
A wish we all have, celebrating gift
That comes in mysterious ways
One birthday, lots of smiles, one wish
We all get one wish, and hope
For it to come before us
As we celebrate, we cherish the moments
Every memory from past to present
Memories of good times we shared
Memories of change, growth
We cherish it all, and will truly miss.
ps: happy one-day-late birthday to me.
Thanks all for yesterday.. Hmmm.. And I thought it's a non-significant day.. Even I myself didn't realize it coming until Thursday evening. Wow.. I forgot my birthday. Thanks all.. :]
Note To You:
well i made a wish
it doesn't have to come true
'cuz i kinda gave up on birthday wishes;
mine never came true.
but yeah, i decided to make one this year
since i figured i've got nothing to lose.
who knows this year might be different..
oh, and the gift was awesome
though you really shouldn't have spent on it
like really really
it must've been super expensive,
something even money can't buy
hmmm..
thank you, bestfriend.. ;]
reminisced;
- 4:59 AM
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Stars Are Out Tonight
It suffocates
Burning holes through my chest
Watching you sit there
Never being able to reach out and touch you
Can't hold you close in my arms, safe.
I'm slipping away.
My light is fading out.
Oh wait, I have no light.
You are so bright and beautiful,
Attracting all the others as they gather near to be yours.
I try to come, but I'm pushed down.
I try to get up, but the hole took too much away.
The darkness is snuffing out my light.
Oh wait, I have no light.
Only dull gray radiates from me now.
I'm just another piece of black, woven into the dark sky.
Unnoticed, unwanted, almost broken.
Only rain comes from me.
Only darkness illuminates me.
So I watch from my gaping hole.
I envy the bright, colourful stars around you.
And I,
I'm just a cloud.
It's not everyday you get a clear night sky. It's even tougher to get to see clusters of stars out there, as though they've come to gather for some night feast and celebration. Gosh, even the Orion's belt is present. Hmmm.. It's really really awesome.
And like every other night whenever I come across the night's brightest star and I'd make a wish upon it, for once tonight, I just wish for somebody, just anybody, to believe in me..
Note To Self:
starlight, star bright,
the first star i see tonight,
i wish i may, i wish i might,
have the wish i wish tonight..
..and i wish my wish comes true.
reminisced;
- 9:46 PM
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Depleting Water In The Well
A page so cold
A pen so light
A soul so dark
And a thought too bright
A recipe for expression
Each an important ingredient
Only with the right tools
And a mind so obedient
Could words of such caliber
Ever be born
But as the tools wear down
So does the soul get torn
Each verse seems to contain
Some piece of my mind
But they aren’t endless
As they become harder to find
I can only wonder
When I might run out
And what I will be then
When I have nothing to write about
So I count each verse
I count each line
I count each word
And watch for some sign
A sign of the end
When the well runs dry
A sign that finally
I can say goodbye.
ps: you won't miss the water, till the well runs dry.. but then again, i just remembered.. who needs the well when there's always the vending machine.. hmmm.. maybe you'll only miss the well again when you run out of coins. but then again, you forgot, the well has already gone dry... and no tears you shed will fill it up again back to its brim.. it just won't be the same.
Note To Self:
hmmm.. today was none the better..
let it go, zakaria.. let it go.
her life, her say.
reminisced;
- 10:23 PM
Monday, January 19, 2009
The Bad Day
19th of January was once a date to remember. It's been quite some time now, but it's still as fresh as yesterday. Sweet memories, bitter sweet memories. Maybe it's true, the first relationship is always the hardest one to cease from one's mind. Hmmm.. And I thought I got over it.. Shucks. I can't sleep last night, thinking of it. I don't know why, the reels of yesterdays somehow got rewound.. It played back everything. From the point when I first wrote that letter to her, to the scene at the staircase behind the school hall where we would meet, to that break-up.. Shit..
Man, how I just want to forget it all, those young and stupid days.. Do me a big favour, Zakaria.. Let it go!
Oh, and to those awful nightmares, leave me alone!
Note To Self:
today was a bad day.
tomorrow's a better day,
tomorrow's a better day,
tomorrow's a better day..
reminisced;
- 10:17 PM
Saturday, January 17, 2009
The Valkyrie
If only
You'll hold on
Just hold on
I'm here and
I'm with you
I'm here too
I feel you
We'll get through
I know this
I've seen it
A hundred times
A thousand times
Just one more time
With you and I
I'll pull you close
And then we'll say goodbye..
Note To Self:
i've got sweet nothings to say.
reminisced;
- 9:34 PM
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Fate In Your Hands
We are taught to think of our success in terms of numbers
If touching one person's life is a good thing,
Then touching one thousand's people lives must be a great thing.
It’s easy to see where we learned to think this way
Our whole society revolves around mass production.
The more units we can move,
The more customers we can serve,
The more boats we can get,
The more money and the more stuff we have, the better, right?
Maybe it’s not possible to touch one thousand people's thinking,
Or as powerfully as one person.
Maybe it’s not really so revolutionary after all,
To have one person out of a group of twenty, tell everybody else what’s right.
Wouldn’t it be better if we tried a decentralized approach
Where everyone works closely with those around them,
Instead of a few people waiting in anonymous mass?
Do you have to save the world all by yourself,
Why don’t you trust someone else to do it with you?
Note To You:
if you just hold on for one more second,
just hold on to what you have,
if you just hold on, just hold on,
you will wake up tomorrow..
reminisced;
- 10:15 PM
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Exodus of No Regrets
Speak not of a whisper
Steady your breath
Just stop and listen
Don't quicken your step.
Please be quiet
Don't make a sound
If a pin should drop
Hear it hit the ground.
Why won't you pause?
Why won't you wait?
Please just stop
Before it's too late.
I just want someone to listen
Someone to hear
The breaking of my insides
The shedding of my tears.
It seems I'm always screaming
Screaming aloud
But people say Im quiet
I never make a sound.
If they only knew
If only they could see
Soon there will be nothing left
Nothing left of me.
I work hard to keep the pieces
Mend me back together
But I'm soon to give up,
Wouldn't it be better?
Rid me of the one I hate
My own worst enemy
Rid me of that person
That person called "me".
I'm done now
I'm out of stitches, tape, and pins
Now I'll sit and wait
For my ending to begin.
Note To You:
for everything that starts
ends in one way or another
hang in there, Nenek
everything's going to be alright..
reminisced;
- 5:28 PM
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Silent Prayer
Why? Why does everything just has to happen one after the other?? I really don't know what to do now.. Oh God! Please don't take her away... I love her. We all love her.. Yeah, she's old, but taking her away will just cause a chain reaction, which will just make things worst.. Unless that's what You want it... Please please... Please don't take her away just yet..
Note To Self:
this is the part when i really want to disappear.
reminisced;
- 4:47 AM
Sunday, January 4, 2009
The Beautiful Mistake
It was perfect.
Nothing could be so flawless as that;
The night was blistering cold
Silence filled the air
But the silence wasn't deafening at all,
It wasn't like any awkward silence,
It was that silence which calms the very soul.
No words needed.
And there I was, lying right next to you
And your hand gripped mine
And our eyes they meet
They locked.
It was dark, yet I could see right through them
They sparkled like the brightest stars;
The only stars in my sky.
You smiled.
I chuckled.
I smiled back.
We stared and we smiled.
And then I whispered something into your ears.
A whisper so soft it felt like a lullaby.
"Goodnight, and sweet dreams.."
You smiled.
I kissed you goodnight...
...And then my mum woke me up.
And then you were gone.
Just like that.
*Poof*
And soon I realized that everything was just a dream.
It was perfect..
..until I woke up.
And I cursed myself for not locking the door.
reminisced;
- 9:50 PM
