Note To Self: i know it will happen some day, but i've never thought it'll be this soon.. things just happen so damn fast, so fast i didn't get a chance to react..
hmmm.. i've been digging my own grave from the start yes i know, and i shouldn't have pushed my luck this far i've been digging it in too deep now, and as predicted, the deeper the hole, the deeper and harder the fall..
and i'm always the stupid one making the stupid moves.. i should've known it wasn't a good idea to give her that gift i shouldn't have done all those stupid things just to make her that gift well, i thought maybe a little huge sacrifice would make her happy and she doesn't even have to know what i went through for it i'm not asking for anything back in return too well at least a smile from the heart, maybe? if i'd known better, i would've just stick to that candy and maybe things wouldn't end up this way..
i never knew speaking my mind would make a big difference yes things changed, for the worst of the worst.. and why do people change so easily? hmmm i wonder.. the change is so drastic that i don't feel like i know that person any more
(now who's avoiding who now? i'm not them, remember?)
i shouldn't have followed my heart to tell her the truth heh.. just as i thought i've built enough confidence to finally tell a girl how i felt.. imagine free falling without a parachute from the KLCC tower.. *splat*
anyways thanks friends for all the motivation to that someone in my tagboard it really boosted my confidence to tell her heh.. after a very long time, zakaria... since end of sec 2, maybe? but then all that confidence just disappear. like you press the reset button in a game, only to find out you haven't saved yet..
now back to square one.. you're not the same.. i should've known.. some things are better left unsaid..
how i wish i was a mute it'll be easier, won't it?
well done, zakaria.. kudos for your stupidity.
okay now someone throw me a rope..
[ps: i just hope she found that hidden note behind the CD.. or maybe found out about this blog so she could read everything i wrote since day one.. but then again, some things are just better not to be known.. she won't understand anyway.. and i'm not asking her to be my girlfriend.. just someone whom i could turn to through my ups and downs... if only she understands...]
reminisced; - 9:19 PM
EL INTROVERTO
Zakaria
Officially 19
Demure by nature
Straight, single and not-looking
Music & Audio Tech student at SP
Drums & percussions
Sinister Infants
Melodic punk rock
i am just the way i am.
judge me for all you want.
it doesn't matter.
it didn't matter.
it will not matter.
be nice. and maybe with a wee bit of a miracle,
i might just be whoever you want me to be.
